Dear On the Mic Diary,
Absolutely fucking knackered but ended up having one of those classic fringe days which, aside from the possibility of fame and fortune, is why performers come here.
I arrived at my venue on the quietest Monday of the fringe to find my flyerer had gone AWOL and thus my smallest audience of the run so far- 5, 3 of whom walked out as soon as I showed my first slide which said the word “cunt”.
Unperturbed, I performed a slightly truncated set to the remaining 2 who enjoyed the show immensely and headed out into the bar and sat down with Fringe stalwart Frizz Frizzle, who was 2 weeks into his run and frazzled.
Frizz is up at the fringe performing a show called Lets get Frizz Frizzle (which according to his poster you sing to the tune of 80s pop classic “Lets get physical, physical” ) and he told me his happy news… That he’d been nominated for a neurodivergent fringe award.
He then asked for a hug because when it isn’t winning you awards, neurodivergent has other less desirable side effects, including social anxiety! Especially when you’ve been performing 4 shows a day in a terrain as emotionally and physically demanding as the fringe.
Aside from collecting award winners, our table also ended up collecting, a number of other fringe festival luminaries including Frank Sanazi and his Iraq pack buddies; Sadammi Davis Jr and Dean Stalin, who were in the pub to watch the football.
Frank told me that he’d heard about me because Scotsman comedy critic Kate Copstick had apparently been talking about my cunt on her recent appearance on GB News. (Cunt is the name of my show, I think she was talking about that, although, given the agenda of GB News she could have been talking about my genitals, who knows).
Whichever, as long as it’s not in connection with a murder it’s always nice to get a mention on a national news channel, even one that is best described as alt right (or alt wrong dependent on which side of the culture war you’re on.
Frank then told me that one of the guys at the table was the second-greatest Elvis impersonator in the world. I was sceptical and thought he was exaggerating until I was shown some footage of a person who I thought was Elvis but who on closer inspection turned out to be the guy sitting next to me. Elvis Corpsley! The Elvis impersonator who is performing in Franks ‘Das Vegas’ show, which returns to the Voodoo rooms this Wednesday!
Which all goes to show, in London, they say you’re never more than 6ft away from a rat but in Edinburgh you’re never more the 6ft away from a member of the rat pack.